Aw man…tonite…tonite was one of *those* nites. One of those nites where you swear the Douchebag Convention must have let out five minutes before your shift started. For the record, an ever steady plethora of douchebags, by itself, doesn’t necessarily meet all the specifications in order to justifiably chalk up a shift as one of *those* shifts. One of *those* nights follows the same systematic formulation in the making of a Perfect Storm.
In nature, a Perfect Storm is a number of exceedingly different variables all developing in a very specific fashion, at the same time, to inevitably produce all the ingredients needed to create the most intense weather phenomenon possible (or just some shitty movie with George Cloney and Marky Mark post-shitty rap career). In the service industry, one of *those* nites follows in the same fashion, theoretically. Obviously not producing any sort of natural phenomenon, one of *those* nites is the equivalent of a Perfect Storm but in the sense that a Perfect Shit Storm is the end product. I’ll take the liberty to walk you through the initial makings of one of *those* nites so as they’re forming, you may be able to spot them and deter it from fully developing.
Usually, one of *those* nites starts as soon as you walk through the door. The new girl, who just started bartending with you guys, has just worked the lunch shift (because those are predominantly slower) so she can get a hold the ropes and the ins and outs of this particular restaurant. Because she’s new, the bar is trashed because she’s been weeded for the last two hours. Granted she only sold $300, she doesn’t know where anything is and subsequently shit gets thrown everywhere while shes trying to catch up. So, instead of getting yourself prepared for your shift that nite, you’re too busy cleaning up and straightening everything back to normal, which usually takes a hour or so to do.
Some sort of sold out event is crucial to the foundation of a Perfect Shit Storm. The logic in this is that the event will enviably let out, filling up the entire bar and restaurant in a matter of 5 minutes, leaving 100 people all looking for something at the same time. Now, because you’re still busy cleaning up after the rookie from lunch, you’re not even prepared for a normal dinner rush. Also, an interesting phenomenon happens to people when they travel in packs, filling up a bar post-show or post-event. Some sort of mob mentality forms and every individual person loses the ability to think logically all together. It’s almost amazing. Even though I’m sure a large portion of these crowds are somewhat intelligent, most even being college graduates, they no longer can process basic common sense. For example, Johnny McDaytrader understands the complex influence of the latest government reform concerning carbon emissions on 3rd quarter profits for the biodiesel automotive market,yet he can’t understand why his mojito is going be a couple of minutes even though he literally just say down with 90 other people ordering drinks at the same time.
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sounds like you had a shitty night full of douches and assholes. This is the problem whenever I see people in any aspect of American culture. Everyone is so used to getting it here, now, and quickly that if they do not they consider it offensive and typically either complain or stiff you on the tip. I have been on the recieving end of those many times myself, and quite frankly I think people like that are the reason the tazer was invented...wishful thinking...
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